Category Archives: Deep Thought

Conditioned Response

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In 1927 Ivan Pavlov discovered that his dogs would begin to salivate first in the presence of food, then in the presence of the lab assistant that bought the food and then just by hearing a bell that would normally mean the onset of feeding.  The discovery of this Pavlovian Response of Classical Conditioning is the forerunner of all kinds of behavioral therapy.  The idea is that you can teach yourself or someone else can teach you to respond to certain stimuli in a certain way.

Many hypnotists try this by planting a post-hypnotic suggestion that you don’t like this or that type of food or that this type of food really tastes horrible.

The more common way we try to do it for weight loss is to try and establish new habits.

  • box up half our meal when we eat out
  • drink more water
  • avoid sweets
  • reward ourselves when we’ve reached some positive milestone

Sometime this works.  Many times it works only temporarily.

Undoing the habits or conditioned response built up over the years is extremely difficult.  Here is a story from my own experience:

Every so often I have the occasion to visit a certain part of town.  Normally, it’s a doctor’s appointment but it could really be anything.  In this part of town is a place called Bagel City. It has dozens of different bagel sandwiches and bagel preparations along with dozens of different bagels. It also has lots of snacks — potato chips, pita chips, pretzels, sodas, etc. — that you don’t see in your run-of-the-mill bagel place or any other sandwich place.  It also has a glass display case of dozens on pastries, cookies and other sweet delights.

It not a fancy place but it has fancy stuff.

Yet, I always go there, if I’m in the area, and I always get the same thing.  Purely a conditioned response. Reflex.  I sometimes even go through a little thought process trying to tell myself to pass it by. It almost never works and I almost always end up there.

  • roast beef on a pumpernickel bagel with lettuce and onions (which they automatically serve with cole slaw and a pickle
  • Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry soda
  • a small bag of Rold Gold pretzels
  • …and on my way out, a black and white cookie which is probably about 4′ in diameter

I can’t begin to count the calories and, truth be told, I don’t care (almost).  I tell this story because there are dozens of little things that have been embedded into my life that are almost purely conditioned responses.

You would think that being a human and not being a dog that it would be easier to break the bad habits.  28 days and all that stuff.  I’m hear to tell you it ain’t that easy.

 

 

Going Off The Rails

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Over this past weekend, I went off the rails.

I didn’t count calories, I ate pretty much what I wanted and, horror of all horrors, on Sunday I actually ate out at restaurants with friends for both lunch and dinner.  That was some heavy eating.

You would think that I would have gained a couple of pounds or something.  But, I didn’t. I did gain almost a pound — about eight tenths in the two days.  The real kicker is this: I got back on the wagon Monday and even went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes (my longest time since the knee surgery). I’m up to 2.5 mph, which isn’t that fast but it’s something.

Anyway, I weighted myself this morning and I’m up a full pound from yesterday. Yesterday was the day I started watching what I ate and went and exercised.  WTF!!!

Maybe it’s the barometric pressure or the paradox of losing while eating or something unknown and unknowable but it is damn frustrating.  Especially since I really want to get below the 280 lbs mark in a couple of weeks.  Now I have farther to go.

It really pisses me of.  More to the point, it’s the kind of thing that makes me think that I can never go off the rails.  I will always have to be vigilant.  I really need to get on the carrot sticks and celery thing.

There has got to be a way to kick the sugar habit.

Falling Off The Wagon…Temporarily

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I’m about to go on a short business/pleasure trip to beautiful San Juan, Puerto Rico.  It’ll be the first time I’ve gone there and there will be some meals as part of the conference and, of course, the eating “on our own”, as the agenda says.

But, that’s not the topic of this post.  You see, I was planning to do my Weekly Weigh-in today.  I have to get up super early tomorrow in order to get out the door and to the airport in time to catch a relatively early flight.  So, I thought, I’d do it today and then go back to Thursday next week when I get back.

Well, the road to hell are paved with good intentions.  I stepped on the scale this morning and surely thought I had gone to hell.  I was up (I won’t say how much) but it was more than I wanted to admit to the world via the Internet. Of course, you don’t go to hell without sinning, first, and that’s exactly what has been happening.

Eating For The Sake Of Eating

Over the last week I’ve been eating later at night and I’ve eaten out for a couple of lunches.  To top it all off, I had this huge breakfast yesterday morning topped by a ridiculously fattening and high calorie meal last night at a local restaurant.  It’s not even a restaurant I like very much.  It just happened to be convenient and fast.

Yes, there was stuff on the menu that would have been a better choice but between being hungry and wanting to “let loose” I ordered the fish and chips.  Wrong choice.  Very wrong choice.  Not only was it deep fired within an inch of it’s previous life and horrible looking and bad tasting, it was mega calorie. As if that wasn’t bad enough, i ordered dessert which I shared with my wife but still….

So, I learned my lesson.

Keeping Nutrition In Mind

If I’m  going to fall off the wagon, I want to do it with food that is well prepared and tastes good and may even be nutritionally good for me. This eating garbage just to satisfy hunger just doesn’t get it.

So I’m going to get up early tomorrow morning, hop in the shower and write down my weight.  The nice thing about the Internet is that I don’t have to be in my house, at my dining room table (as I am right now) to weigh in and report.  I can do that from virtually anywhere and I’ll certainly be able to do it from a hotel room in San Juan.

Today, I’m really going to watch what I eat and drink lots and lots of water.  Maybe swill down some psyllium in the hopes of flushing out my system.

Stay tuned.  I’ll report tomorrow whether it’s up, down or sideways.

Mikey Likes It!

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Back in the day, there was a Life® cereal commercial that shows a couple of cute kids discussing the cereal.  Finally, they say,” Give it to Mikey. He hates everything.”

But Mikey eats it.

Sometimes I feel like Mikey.  The guy people give stuff to when they want to to get rid of the food they’re not sure they want or that they “don’t want to go to waste.”  Of course, it’s really my responsibility to say, “No, thanks.”  The reall challenge is that more times than not, I don’t turn it away. This is particularly true at home.

Sometimes I feel like my wife inherited the Depression era mindset that her mother and father had.  You know, never get rid of anything because it might come in useful at some point in the distant future.  And, God forbid, you throw any food down the garbage disposal.  Or leave it at the restaurant.  Better for it to turn into a science experiment in the refrigerator.

Or go into my stomach.

It’s tough to say “no” to someone you’re close to because it’ll either hurt their feelings or it’ll start a fight. That’s part of the cost of this whole weight reduction thing.  There are people who have a vested interest in me staying my same jolly ol’ fat self.  It either reflects badly on them because they aren’t in great shape or there is the fear that if I change too much and start looking really good with the extra confidence that comes with it, that I may start to look for new people to hang out with.  That would be bad news if one of those people was the person I was married to.

So, on the one hand, I kind of understand the background of “Hey, just have a little more.  Don’t let it go to waste.” and on the other hand I know I have to stay strong against this kind of good hearted, well intentioned feeding.

I’m kind of rambling here.  I don’t want to be mean or nasty and, truth be told, my knee hurts and the pain meds might be affecting my judgement but I can’t help but notice that there things other than my own, natural desire to eat when I’m bored, angry, frustrated, etc. Things that have nothing to do with me directly. Things I still need to be on the look out for.

Prepping for Surgery

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I’m told it’s really not a big deal.  I’m told a torn meniscus is really a “routine sports injury” (never mind I don’t do sports). I’m told that arthroscopic surgery or, “being ‘scoped” has been pretty much perfected.

Maybe so.

All I know is that they have to  completely anesthetize me, cut me, fill the area around my knee with fluid, do some other stuff with sharp instruments and then sew me back up. Then, because of my sleep apnea, I have to hang out at the hospital for about 7 hours or so after they’re done with me.

For something that most people make out to be no big deal, it seems like a pretty big deal.

Of course, I really have to get it done.  It’s either now or allow it to wear away at the cartilage in my knee until something major really needs to be done. I do feel it.  Especially when I walk down stairs (not so much going up).  Every now and then, I get that twinge when I turn my knee that reminds me of the time it hurt like hell.

So, tomorrow I go under the knife.

What’s This Mean For “The Program”?

Of course, I won’t be able to get on the treadmill for awhile.  I’m not really sure how much I’ll be able to do or how long it might take me to get to the point where the doctor gives me the high sign.  Or, when I feel brave enough just to start doing something anyway.

So that means I have to be super vigilant about what I put in my mouth. Keeping track of those calories.

Like today.  There was a little cakefest for people in my office who were having birthdays in February.  I knew one of the people and wanted to come by and say “hi” and Happy Birthday.  Of course, I had a piece of cake.  I almost didn’t have two.  But, I did. At least I didn’t have three or four.

I then had this hankerin’ for a steak and cheese sub at one of the local sub joints.  So I did that, too. In other words, I fell off the wagon.

I figure I won’t eat that much tomorrow.  If I’m careful I may not gain much and may actually lose a tad.  My next weigh-in is Thursday.

That’ll be interesting.

Weight and Sleep Apnea

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As I mentioned in a couple of previous blog posts, I’m getting ready to go in for a little arthroscopic surgery on my left knee for a torn meniscus. I’ve been talking to some people who have undergone this little operation and they all seem to think it’ll come out fine.

No big deal.  In fact, when I talked to my orthopedic surgeon he made it sound like it was almost and in and out type of thing.  Sure.  A little pre-op preparation, the operation, a little post-op and home.

Sleep Apnea

What does this have to do with sleep apnea.  A whole lot.

While I was answering questions about my health for the pre-pre-pre surgical procedure, I answered “yes” ot the “Do you have sleep apnea?” question.  Well, that took me from the orthopedic guy’s little surgical center located in an office building to the hospital. No explanation other than it was because of my sleep apnea.

Then, during the pre-pre surgical procedure questioning (this time for the hospital), I answered “yes”, again, but it didn’t seem to set off any alarms. So far, so good.  I’m still thinking I’ll be in for 3 or 4 hours and then be able to go home and chill.

Finally, the pre-surgical procedure questioning and final instructions. This is when the truth came out. Come 2 hours before the surgery for pre-op (Check), the operating room has been reserved for two hours but probably won’t take the whole time (Check), recovery room time about 1 to 1 and a half hours (Check).  Let’s call that about 4 hours assuming the orthopedic guy is right and his job is only about an hour.

Here’s the kicker.  Because I have sleep apnea complete with the need for a CPAP machine, I’ll need to go into post surgical after recovery to be monitored for up to six hours. Six hours! Why?  Because they need to make sure the effects of the anesthesia have worn off enough for me to go home. In fact, I need to bring my CPAP machine to the hospital with me, presumably so I can put it on while I doze and such waiting for the anesthesia to wear off.

The Downside

I wasn’t expecting to stay in the hospital for close to 10 hours (and possibly longer). I wish someone had told me about this a little ahead of time so I could prepare myself a little more psychologically.  It’s a royal pain in the patootie.

What Does This Have To Do With Being Overweight? It turns out that of the possible causes listed on WebMD for sleep apnea being overweight is Number Two on the hit parade.  Number One is being male.

So, once again, my obesity is the cause for a health problem.  Sleep apnea itself is a health issue, now it is cause for an extended period in the hospital to monitor my anesthesia. On the website that got me started with this whole counting calories thing and the inspiration to keep going with the weight reduction, there was a commenter that mentioned that he was able to get rid of his CPAP machine after he lost a good number of pounds.

This is yet another reason to drop the poundage. Airline seats, movie theaters, clothes – all of that are good reasons to drop the weight.  This sleep apnea thing is another.

The Plague of Friends

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Yesterday was a bad day.

It was cold. I did a little volunteer work in a large concrete warehouse – not hard work but it was cold – and I showed homes for a few hours to some of my real estate clients.  Cold.

Cold does two things to me.  It makes me tired.  It makes me hungry. The hungry part is what gets to me.

While I was working in this warehouse (it was a big book sale type thing) one of my fellow volunteers came up to me with the hot news that she had bought in some homemade empanadas and banana nut muffins. Yummy. When I went back to the “break area” I noticed that there were also some store bought ginger cookies and  fennel/sweet pepper rolls. All things sweet and chewy.

Did I mention how much I like things sweet and chewy?

Needless to say, the empanada went into my mouth – dough, ground beef, etc. – and one fennel/sweet pepper roll and two (count ‘em two) ginger cookies.  OK, I thought.  I’ll go easy on dinner.

Dinner was left over Chinese food with some rice from a box.  Only, what I thought would just be a small amount of Chinese food turned out to be quite a bit since my wife had bought home some from her lunch at work.  That was quite a bit.

The real kicker was when my wife wanted “share” her leftover Chinese food with me.

“No thanks,” I said.

“It’s too much for me,” she said.

“That’s OK,” I said, ” I have enough already.”

“Just a little,” she said. “I’d like to share some with you.”

Here’s the bottom line: when you’re fat (like I am) people think you want to eat more. Friends that are volunteering with you shove food in your face.  Friends you’ve known for a long time shove food in your face. Spouses shove food in your face.

I think they have good intentions.  They see the fatness and think that’s the way you want to be. All the while tsk tsk’ing how out of shape you are. Or, in the case of my spouse, misery loves company. She, too, is circumferentially challenged. She must be one of these secret eaters since I hardly see her eat that much when she’s in my presence. She’s very good at wanting to “share” and never wants to throw anything away until it becomes a science project in the refrigerator.

It’s pretty tough telling your friends and your spouse, “No”. You want to be nice. Polite. But, you need to be firm and unwavering. Sometimes they insist. They keep asking, again and again.  ”Just a little.” “I’d hate for this to go to waste.”

It’s all a variation of the crap from our youth – “Eat all your food.  There are starving children in [Africa, China, India, you take your pick].”

Fighting this battle may be harder than counting calories and exercising.

A Paradox

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It has always surprised me that when I am diligent counting calories and watching what I eat, logging it into my food diary that I may lose a little or I may gain a little but when I kinda go “off the rails” and have a nice dinner with friends my weight seems to drop noticeably.  I would have thought, especially with dinner, that those calories would have weighed on my overnight.  But, oddly enough, when I got on the scale it was about a pound less than the day before.

I know, at some level, that weight fluctuates day-to-day.  I guess I expect it when I’m basically maintaining the same calorie count and the only variable is exercise or the amount of activity. Still, this is something I’ve noticed before.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not complaining.  Not like I beat myself when I go “off the rails” with dessert or other sweet things. Then, it’s almost inevitable. I gain weight.

Cheat Days

Lots of diet and weight loss folks talk about the cheat day.  Tyler Weeks talks about it. John Rowley talks about it. Others talk about it.  It’s kinda like the day of rest. Eat right, exercise for 8 days a week and then on the 7th day, relax.  Go out with friends, your spouse or whoever.  Have fun and don’t keep track.

Maybe it’s a way to tell your body you’re not intentionally starving it or something.  Whatever it is, it seems to work.  It allows me to have some social time with friends and not be completely paranoid about how many calories are going into my body or what they might be doing.

The Gym

I’ve been pretty regular about heading to the gym.  I’m starting to get a feel for the circuit weights and I’m slowly building up speed on the treadmill.  Still nothing to write home about but every calorie burned is a good thing. Building muscle, however slowly, is a good thing.  I know that after my arthroscopic surgery on February 8th and I won’t be able to do much for “8 to 10 weeks” according to the orthopedic surgeon.  I’m going to try to get back in the saddle as quickly as I can but I also don’t want to screw up my knee long term.

Onward.

Food – The Problem With Weight Reduction

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As I continue on this journey through weight reduction, it occurs to me that one of the biggest challenges with getting rid of the weight is food.  I know that sounds silly and stupid. Yet, for met it’s a big, big challenge.

You see, I don’t really cook.  At least, not well and nothing ever very fancy.  My wife doesn’t either.  She just never got it passed down from her mother who was a Depression era mother in an urban area.  So cans and processed foods were the way things were done.  Still are.  Easy, if not cheap and laden with so many calories you can’t keep count.  Ditto sodium which is none to good for old blood pressure readings.

So, the solution is to eat a lot of sandwiches or stuff on the run.  Things that come out of a box or a restaurant.  It’s really kind of sad but I klnow there are millions of people just like me who eat on the run or grab something simple or pre-prepared at the grocery store.  Sure.  Apples and bananas are simple and easy to eat and I go for them.  But, a lot of the time I’ll through some ham on two pieces of bread or fill up a bowl of cereal.

So, tonight, I’m thinking about food.  Now that Christmas is over and all the people who cook are done cooking and I’m left to my own devises,a gain. (Note:  all that “home cooking” over Christmas was so sugared up, fatted up and salted up that it might as well have had a skull and crossbones on it.  But it tasted soooo good.)

Maybe I should take cooking lessons.  Ya think?

Commitment

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In my last post, I referred to a weight loss website/blog that wasn’t your typical weight loss website. It is the story of the personal journey of a guy from 344 Pounds to his current (at this writing) 211 lbs.

A couple of things struck me about the website:

  1. It’s about counting calories and “moving”. Eat less and Exercise More.  No magic formula. No special diet.
  2. It’s not a hokey site with lots of advertising and promises of magic results
  3. It’s by a man.
  4. It talks about gaols that real people have about why they want to lose weight.  Sure, health is in the mix but it’s not the primary reason for dropping all the poundage.  Things like sex appeal, being able to buy “regular” clothes, fitting into the seats at restaurants, movie theaters and airplanes.
  5. It talks about commitment.

It’s that last thing that always trips me up.

Commitment

Yes, I want to drop this huge amount of weight and I don’t want to be chained to special foods delivered to my door or picked up at the local gym. I’ve tried lots of stuff and, for some reason, it doesn’t kick in.

Why?

I think I know why.  I haven’t really committed myself to changing a lifestyle that includes eating sugar laden treats when the urge strikes me, high carb and high fat foods at restaurants and take-out joints.  It’s all about not being able to say “no”.

I’m a food slut.

This wouldn’t be so bad if the food I opened my mouth for were the fruits and vegetables that are supposed to be the road to good health and a decent waistline.  Instead, when I’m at various meeting and social functions and there’s a buffet of goodies, I don’t load up on the carrot sticks and cauliflower. I go to the meatballs and wings and rolls and cheese.

This is what the Miriam Webster Dictionary (online) has to say about commitment (in part):

a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future

b : something pledged

c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled (a commitment to a cause)

Changing my lifestyle from one of indiscriminate eating and a sedentary lifestyle is one hell of a commitment.