I don’t really fly that much.

Maybe 4 times a year to go to various conferences.  I don’t qualify for frequent flier miles. But I know about the security thing.  Plus, I travel with a laptop and a CPAP machine (for my sleep apnea) so I know it takes a little extra for me to get through security.

On my most recent trip to Atlanta on Air Tran, though, the Transportation Safety Administration really outdid themselves.

I’m not sure whether they just wanted to play with their new toy or if there was some kind of terrorist alert for people flying from Baltimore to Atlanta but they really went the whole distance with me.

As If The Lines Aren’t Long Enough

I’m one of those people that thinks that most of the airport security is just for show.  After all, there is always some nut case that makes it through with explosives in his shoes or his underwear. I guess that’s why they’re spending the big bucks on these new fangled full body scanners.

I had my first experience with one Thursday.

I was all prepared to put my various machines in separate bins, my shoes and other thing in separate bins and even have my CPAP machine individually scanned.  What I came across was not only the regular X-ray belt but the full body scanner.  They were just taking random people and putting them through it, as far as I could tell.

I won!

I had to take virtually everything…and I mean everything, off.  They let me keep my shirt and pants on but my belt had to come off and everything had to come out of my pockets.  Then I stood in this space age full body scanner that looked like the TSA was about to beam me up somewhere.  Stand this way, stand that way.  Put your arms like this, put your arms like that.  I’m just glad my pants didn’t fall off (remember, no belt!).

That wasn’t the end.  I was instructed to step out of the new gizmo and got patted down by another TSA guy.

After I passed all the screenings, I still had to wait for the CPAP examine and then put all my stuff back in their various bags.  All in all, it was a very disconcerting experience and it took up a lot of time.  What a pain.

The Little Joke

At some point in this blog post I was going to make a little joke about coming out of the full body scanner and the TSA employee.  You know, “Did she just wink at me or did she have something in her eye?”

But, she’s probably seen better…or more.