Tag Archives: goals

Not As Easy As It Seems

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List of Things To DoJust do it.

Take action.

Get clear.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I’ve been following the personal development field for a long time.  Too damn long.  In fact, I have this one friend who thinks I should get one of those barely visible headset microphones like you see on TED or in a Tony Robbins seminar and hit the stage.

Not for me, though, and here’s why.

It seems that no matter how hard I try to visualize, affirm or whatever I can’t seem to find the motivation to keep doing whatever I need to do or find the “inner strength” to persevere. I guess I’m getting tired.

To lose weight I exercise, count the calories going into my mouth and I lose some but plateau out and gain some on days I really think I should have at least dropped a couple of tenths.

I make myself available to clients and they vaporize or I get the kind of low quality types that couldn’t borrow $5 ’til payday, let alone buy a house.

I save some money toward a particular goal or save some money just to have a little bit of a stash and, wham! The car blows up. A tree falls over in the back yard. An emergency trip to Michigan needs to happen.

It’s kinda like the universe is conspiring against me instead of with me to reach my goals or aspirations.

But, I have no one to blame but myself because I don’t take enough massive action or I’m not clear enough about what my purpose is or I can’t figure out my “why”.

Getting off my ass and doing something is not as easy as it seems.

Why Won’t Visualization Work?

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We all know the drill.

Relax.

Really relax.

Bring whatever it is you want into your mind. Money…a big house…fancy car…deep and caring relationship…new bike.

Whatever it is.  Bring it into your mind.

Vivid. See, touch, feel, smell, hear it.  Really get into it. Think about it. Visualize it.

When?

Depending on what seminar you go to or what personal development gooroo you listen to, it depends. Early in the morning before you fully awaken.  Late in the evening right before you go to bed. Sometimes, it’s even good to take a break in the middle of the day and take 15 minutes or so.

I guess it really doesn’t matter since the whole idea is to tell your subconscious mind to get it for you.  How?  No matter.  It just will. Sooner or later.

But It Hasn’t Worked

At least, it hasn’t worked for me.

I’ve been visualizing 180 lbs for so long I can’t remember when I started. Pretty much the same thing for getting my mortgage paid off and having gobs of money in the bank.

I know.  I guess I’m also suppose to carry around a picture or a phrase or sentence on an index card or something like that and look at it two, three, fifteen times a day to really, really implant this thing (or things) into my mind.  Really visualize the thing.

Or maybe I’m supposed to create a “vision board” which doesn’t really have to be a board.  It can be a piece of poster paper or even an empty wall.  Any space will do, right? The idea is to rip out pictures from magazines and whatnot and paste them onto whatever so that you see it everyday. Hopefully, many times a day.

I used to do this with these “Dream Books” from Lindal Homes.  I would drool over the things.  I even went and visited a contractor’s model home for Lindal.  Do I live in one? No.  Am I close? No.

So, What’s The Real Deal?

My guess is that visualization can be helpful to keep you focused.  You know, “eyes on the prize”. But, I don’t think whatever it is you want is going to come as a result of visualization.  I suppose it might provide some of the motivation to keep going, keep burning the midnight oil.  I don’t think it works as a sort of subconscious purchase order sent to the Universe for some sort of fulfillment department to send back the object of your deepest longing.

Many times when the personal development gooroos talk about reaching some goal or obtaining some nice thing (house, money, relationship), they leave out the part about going years and years without. Years and years of drudgery and working and beating their head against the wall.  Maybe they just persevered (a good trait to have) or happened to run into the right people at the right time. maybe they did have the picture of the big house on a piece of poster board and then, lo and behold, finally move into that house.

My guess is that for every one story like that there are hundreds of more from people who really tried to work the program and nothing happened.

 

Focus

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It is said that single minded focus can overcome many obstacles.

The idea is that if you’re focused “like a laser beam” ( use an overused cliché) you will “do what it takes” (oops. another one) to achieve your goal or objective.  I can buy into that.

Being focused allows you to move toward a goal without the distractions that would normally knock you off course. We all have them. The e-mails. Facebook. Twitter.  The kids screaming or needing a ride. Sometimes it seems the world is conspiring to keep you from obtaining the thing you want.

Keeping focused is hard work and requires a lot of dream. Focus can also help you move the universe in ways it hasn’t before. Just like the old saying about the teacher appearing when the student is ready, so will things start to show up in your life if your focus is strong enough and you ability to ignore the distractions persistent enough.

So it is with dropping 120 lbs and never going back to pick it up. Focus requires the determination to turn down the dessert or heaping serving of potatoes. Focus requires the consistent trip to the gym or the walk around the block or the thirty minutes on the treadmill. Focus means never losing sight of the goal weight you want or the body you want and staying the course until you get there.

Yes.  I’m talking to myself.  Put me in the looney bin. But everything I have ever read or heard about people who obtain a certain level of success in their life – money, relationships, happiness – got there because they were focused on the outcome.

So. What do you do to stay focused in the face of all the distractions the world throws at you?

Accountability

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Accountability seems to be everywhere.  It’s the new buzz word along with words like passion and transparency.  Yet there is something to be said for accountability. It keeps us on our toes and reminds us that someone, if only ourselves, will be hold us responsible for our actions.

Typically, accountability comes in the form of Person A or Group B monitoring the activities of someone  in order to make sure they do what they said they were going to do.  If they slip up or outright abandon the project — whatever it may be — they can be called to task.  They are held accountable.

Now, to be sure, accountability doesn’t always mean that something is going to get done.  It doesn’t mean we all become upstanding citizens with complete transparency (there’s that word, again) and that we are all going to do exactly what we say we’re going to do.  It helps.  It fosters character.  It encourages personal responsibility.  To that end, there are these new(ish) things called Accountability Groups or Accountability Partners.

OK, OK, I’ll Do It!

The Accountability Group or Accountability Partner are there to check in with you on a regular basis to make sure you’re on task.  Whether it’s completing a paper, a book or instituting a new process into your work or personal life. the Accountability Group or Accountability Partner is there to support you and to make sure you do what you say.  Sometimes this looks like “tough love”. Think personal trainers in gyms.  Other times it’s more easy going with gentle reminders that, hey, you said you’d do this by this time.

My Accountability

I recently came back from a conference where I was put into an Accountability Group.  Yesterday was our first conference call and at the end of the call we were supposed to make claim to one thing we wanted t be supported with and helped accountable for.  There’s probably lots of stuff I could list but I’ve been dealing with my weight for so long, I thought I would start with that.  I wasn’t the only one.  However, I’m a big guy (as in, “Hey, Big Guy”) and I’ve been getting bigger.  IN fact, my doc recently told me that if I didn’t do something about my weight and the high blood pressure that has come with it, medication would be next on the list.

I’m not really big on having lots of pills and such that I have to remember to take all the time. In fact, I sometimes forget the medications I do take on a regular basis.  So I decided to try and get rid of the excess poundage.  It’s actually quite a bit.

Right now the goal is to lose four pounds by the time the Accountability Group meets next month.  Sounds like it should be doable.  All I have to do is change all my eating and exercising habits.

The Baseline — 301.0 lbs