The Plague of Friends

Yesterday was a bad day.

It was cold. I did a little volunteer work in a large concrete warehouse – not hard work but it was cold – and I showed homes for a few hours to some of my real estate clients.  Cold.

Cold does two things to me.  It makes me tired.  It makes me hungry. The hungry part is what gets to me.

While I was working in this warehouse (it was a big book sale type thing) one of my fellow volunteers came up to me with the hot news that she had bought in some homemade empanadas and banana nut muffins. Yummy. When I went back to the “break area” I noticed that there were also some store bought ginger cookies and  fennel/sweet pepper rolls. All things sweet and chewy.

Did I mention how much I like things sweet and chewy?

Needless to say, the empanada went into my mouth – dough, ground beef, etc. – and one fennel/sweet pepper roll and two (count ‘em two) ginger cookies.  OK, I thought.  I’ll go easy on dinner.

Dinner was left over Chinese food with some rice from a box.  Only, what I thought would just be a small amount of Chinese food turned out to be quite a bit since my wife had bought home some from her lunch at work.  That was quite a bit.

The real kicker was when my wife wanted “share” her leftover Chinese food with me.

“No thanks,” I said.

“It’s too much for me,” she said.

“That’s OK,” I said, ” I have enough already.”

“Just a little,” she said. “I’d like to share some with you.”

Here’s the bottom line: when you’re fat (like I am) people think you want to eat more. Friends that are volunteering with you shove food in your face.  Friends you’ve known for a long time shove food in your face. Spouses shove food in your face.

I think they have good intentions.  They see the fatness and think that’s the way you want to be. All the while tsk tsk’ing how out of shape you are. Or, in the case of my spouse, misery loves company. She, too, is circumferentially challenged. She must be one of these secret eaters since I hardly see her eat that much when she’s in my presence. She’s very good at wanting to “share” and never wants to throw anything away until it becomes a science project in the refrigerator.

It’s pretty tough telling your friends and your spouse, “No”. You want to be nice. Polite. But, you need to be firm and unwavering. Sometimes they insist. They keep asking, again and again.  ”Just a little.” “I’d hate for this to go to waste.”

It’s all a variation of the crap from our youth – “Eat all your food.  There are starving children in [Africa, China, India, you take your pick].”

Fighting this battle may be harder than counting calories and exercising.

Commitment

In my last post, I referred to a weight loss website/blog that wasn’t your typical weight loss website. It is the story of the personal journey of a guy from 344 Pounds to his current (at this writing) 211 lbs.

A couple of things struck me about the website:

  1. It’s about counting calories and “moving”. Eat less and Exercise More.  No magic formula. No special diet.
  2. It’s not a hokey site with lots of advertising and promises of magic results
  3. It’s by a man.
  4. It talks about gaols that real people have about why they want to lose weight.  Sure, health is in the mix but it’s not the primary reason for dropping all the poundage.  Things like sex appeal, being able to buy “regular” clothes, fitting into the seats at restaurants, movie theaters and airplanes.
  5. It talks about commitment.

It’s that last thing that always trips me up.

Commitment

Yes, I want to drop this huge amount of weight and I don’t want to be chained to special foods delivered to my door or picked up at the local gym. I’ve tried lots of stuff and, for some reason, it doesn’t kick in.

Why?

I think I know why.  I haven’t really committed myself to changing a lifestyle that includes eating sugar laden treats when the urge strikes me, high carb and high fat foods at restaurants and take-out joints.  It’s all about not being able to say “no”.

I’m a food slut.

This wouldn’t be so bad if the food I opened my mouth for were the fruits and vegetables that are supposed to be the road to good health and a decent waistline.  Instead, when I’m at various meeting and social functions and there’s a buffet of goodies, I don’t load up on the carrot sticks and cauliflower. I go to the meatballs and wings and rolls and cheese.

This is what the Miriam Webster Dictionary (online) has to say about commitment (in part):

a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future

b : something pledged

c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled (a commitment to a cause)

Changing my lifestyle from one of indiscriminate eating and a sedentary lifestyle is one hell of a commitment.

Dessert First

In my last post I was, er, belly achin’ about being so fat.  It’s true.  I’m a porker who is a string bean wannabe.  And I know why I’m one heavy dude. I love the sweet stuff.  Yeah.  I love the starchy stuff, too. Bread, potatoes, rice.

It has been said, more than once, that a diet that is sure fire to work is to eliminate all the white stuff from your diet.

Sugar…Flour…Dairy

In other words, all the stuff you like and have grown accustomed to is out, out, out.

Which brings me to a recent post I read on an interesting and downright amusing blog called How To Get A Grip. The post: Start With Dessert.  The idea is that since you never know when you’ll kick the bucket, you might as well do the fun stuff now…and early.

Of course, I’ve been doing that with food for awhile.  Cake, ice cream, cookies.  You name it. I stuck it in my mouth.  The fun has now caught up with me and I’m so fat I can barely get on a plane or visit a movie theater and let’s forget the booths in restaurant.  Ironic, huh?  I’ve gotten so big I need a table or take out.

I get the point about not putting off life’s little pleasures while you doggedly try to become “a success” but the idea of doing all the fun stuff becuase I’ll be dead any minute doesn’t get it, either.  Do enough of the fun stuff and you may be living and miserable.

It might be better to spread it out.  Maybe.

Any thoughts?

Fat People

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention,

More than one third of U.S. adults—more than 72 million—people and 17% of U.S. children are obese. From 1980 through 2008, obesity rates for adults have doubled and rates for children have tripled. During the past several decades, obesity rates for all groups in society regardless of age, sex, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, education level, or geographic region have increased markedly.

Pretty scary, huh?  But, really, no surprise.

Just walk down any street, any shopping mall, your church, school or community gathering place and you will see puh-lenty of fat people.  You might even see me.

Really Fat

You see, I’m not just your everyday, run-of-the mill, need-to-lose-a-few-pounds overweight person.  I’m what some medical professionals and most insurance companies would call morbidly obese.  That means I’m at least 100 LBS over the weight those cute charts say I should be for my height. That’s a lot of weight.

The really sad part of it is that I never used to be this heavy.  Yeah.  I was always a little chubby. A little stocky.  There were times I was really starting to put some poundage on but I was able to put a stop to it through hypnosis or Diet-to-Go or Weight Watchers or some such thing.  Now, nothing seems to work.

I start exercising in fits and starts.  I try to eat fruits and vegetables in fits and starts.  I try drinking lots of water in fits and starts.  And, then I drop back into the old habits of eating junk and eating too much of it.

My Responsibilty

I don’t think it’s a matter of pure will power.  It’s probably a matter of being too lazy to learn how to cook and having a wife who doesn’t like to cook (not that I should depend on “the wife” to cook).  It’s easy to go out to the local sub place or Panera Bread or Chinese buffet.

I like to hear that I may be genetically predisposed to being fat.  Or that I’m just too middle class. Or, my favorite, that fat is contagious because my friends happen to be fat (but not nearly as fat as me which would make me the contagion).

Yes.  I know the secret formula – eat less and exercise more.  5 words that are the foolproof method to lose weight. So, why can’t I put it into practice?

Here’s a related piece from Marketplace about why healthy eating costs more – Transcript and audio